Aim : to practise the strategy One-Step-Removed building upon
the previous session Feelings are feelings: behaviour is a choice - always
with an effect.
Time : 20 - 30 minutes
Materials :
One-Step-Removed response sheets
Pens or pencils
Introduction:
There is a big difference between learning about keeping ourselves safe
and putting the ideas into practice. We do not have to wait until we are
in danger or feeling unsafe before we put the skills and concepts of Protective
Behaviours to use. The strategy of One-Step-Removed is an acceptable way
to try out the ideas we have been learning about without putting ourselves
in risky situations. It can help prepare us for potentially unsafe situations
in the relative safety of a group like this.
Most of us will have used this strategy before, perhaps without realising
it. For instance, when we ask the question "What if someone...?"
this is an example of One-Step-Removed. Other examples might begin with
the words "How could someone …? Or What could someone …?
Notice that the person doesn't use the word "I". One-Step-Removed
can keep a situation or problem from being personal, which might make
someone feel unsafe. So, this person might come up to you and say "What
if someone told you that a friend who is having trouble at home. What
could you do?" It may be something the person has been thinking about
for a while. It could be a way of testing out your reaction before taking
the risk of telling you that they are 'the friend'. If your first reaction
is to make a joke of it, or dismiss the problem, then the person can move
on to find someone who will take the time to listen and help him or her
to take action to get the help they need.
Activity :
Here are some examples of questions phrased in One-Step Removed language.
You might like to read through them and in small groups choose one or
two to work on so that you can practise the skills learned in the session
on Feelings, Thoughts and Behaviour when we focused on the statement Feelings
are feelings… behaviour is a choice - always with an effect. If you
would like to make up your own One-Step-Removed questions, that's fine.
Please use the handout to record your discussions?
What if someone got home from school and realised they'd lost the
key and were locked out until someone else came home?
What could someone do if they were standing on the top diving board
and were too scared to dive?
Some people have told me that they feel that being bullied is somehow
their own fault. Why do you think someone might feel that way?
If I were to tell you that my friend is being abused, what would you
be able to do?
How can my friend ask someone to go out with them, when they are scared
the answer will be no?
What if someone needs to make an important decision, but they are
afraid of getting it wrong?
With younger children a puppet could be used to explore this strategy.
If the puppet has the problem, it can safely be discussed by the group,
e.g. (Puppet's name) is only little. How could such a little person
feel safe at the supermarket even if they were scared they might get
lost?
Epilogue:
The One-Step-Removed strategy can be used to check out people, feelings
and situations. It can be a useful tool in problem-solving too. It builds
on the work you did on Feelings, Thoughts and Behaviour. Early Warning
Signs can have a part to play too, and it links with Persistence, which
we will cover another time.
Possible adaptations or applications to the Church context: The classic One-Step-Removed question currently in vogue is W.W.J.D.
"What would Jesus do?"
